Hey, yo.

2009-05-30T18:34:00.002+08:00

2009-05-30T10:39:00.002+08:00

“ I thought I was in love once. And then later I thought maybe it was just an inner ear imbalance… In the end I realized I’d learned two things. The first is… that it’s easier to think you’re in love than it is to accept that you’re alone, and the second is that it’s very easy to confuse love with subatomic particles bursting in the air. Well, I also learned that I should have my ears checked more regularly. ”
- Paul Gross, Due South

hahaha i wanna move to tumblr looks so cool. ;D

contemplative

2009-05-29T20:29:00.004+08:00

hahaha i feel like typing a very thoughtful post leh. not the emo kind, but the um, abstract kind, maybe philosophical. i dunno! ;]

i think my life currently rocks ah. i am still so happy my birthday was so great. i mean, it's my first time celebrating birthday on a school day. haha that sounds so loser, 15 other birthdays during holidays, lol. i don't rmb what i was doing the year before last year, and the years before leh. like nth significant enough lols. aw, but it was awfully lovely i think i'm actually blessed in ways that don't really appear very obviously. like, i have very very little friends (very apparent esp today when they went cca, and i had nth to do already) but they're really good friends that i can count on. i mean quantity is good, but quality is better. quality + quantity is best, but how often is that possible? hmmm.

and lol, i still believe that 有因必有果. it doesn't really matter that i cannot do anything abt it, because one day, someday, everything'll fall apart and you'll be exposed. she'll find out, she'll realise, everybody will know by then. omggg hahaha sy F against F, who will win haha! irksome man! omg gossipz! she is irritating leh bitch.

2009-05-29T18:52:00.003+08:00

and haha i think msn tells me alot of stuff. figured out so many things thru msn lah o.o is that good or bad uh?

and hahaha fuck you, fuck you very very much. that song stuck in my head omg lol.

16th birthday!

2009-05-29T17:43:00.005+08:00

Helloooooo, pictures, as promised. Py's brownies ain't here cause i forgot to take picture ytd and finished it already. ooopsz.

SHIYUAN i THINK i know what i wanna make for you already i got the image in my head but then whether or not i CAN produce it is another matter so lol, i hope i can hehe.

so ytd, as i said 409 gave me flowers lol. shelley, xinmin, khoonhaaaaaaaaaaaaan, beverly, rachel, hsinyin then shiyuan. i am so touched they planned until swee swee. but i didn't realise until shelley told me lols. the plan was supposed to be one flower per period. so ps they come look for me in btw periods sometimes teacher already in class looool. but still, I AM SO TOUCHED ESPECIALLY KHOOOOOOON HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN. hahahaha serious k.
and then xm's shoes lool drama queen, thanks i know i know. ;D let me be your model i will charge commission cheap cheap. haha! :]

and then sy's scrapbook loololololol! so bloody hideous so funny hahaha. thank you i will never EVER be able to do sucha thing hoho.

and py's brownies, i mentioned it was nicer than mine right :[ haha yes it is, thank you!

so we went over to vivo to watch AAD cause apparently the nearby cinemas don't show anymore. ate at LJ, talk quite abit, and went out to open area to talk again! i was busy fiddling with my flowers lolol. btw, they are now in a jar happily sucking water. :D my momma was so nice she help me put when i just got home ytd night. the movie was okay i guess, starting was booring my contacts were so dry i was straining my neck to watch! wasn't much of a surprise since i read the book before, but they missed out the last scene hahaha. juiciest of all, if i didn't rmb wrongly. like when did i read the book, sec 2? o.o movie finished abt 9 plus and off we went, home. bused from bedok interchange, wah super long never take bus from there. nostalgia ahhaha.

oh i almost forgot, thank you everybody who wished me happy birthday. sms, phone call, FB or in person hohoho, much appreciated. ;]

today was lame, but then i have decided to study, really study, for prelims. no, study is an understatement, i will do hardcore mugging, yes.

goodbye.

2009-05-28T22:26:00.002+08:00

So here's my observation: you could never see it through my eyes, and I'm too tired to try.

if i really isolated myself at home on my 16th birthday .......

lols hello world, 花花公主 is back home. hahaha sweet sixteen was sweet and i think i haven't wasted any minute of it. as in, from 12 am. i tried to sleep but i couldnt cause i slept in the afternoon + bloody mozzies love me so much. phone buzzeeeeeeed, and stopped. and then i watched cop show + read eclipse till like 3+ or 4? AND I STILL COULDNT SLEEP keep falling in and out of my slumber .... o.o k cut the crap.

THANK YOU 409 nursings + khoon haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan~ hahahaha yes i 感动 until 5/2 dead liaoz. ;P but lol i look like a crazy nub getting one flower every period omg, hahaha today is smile to yourself like a no mum idiot day.

THANK YOU xinmin for the shoes, very nice!

THANK YOU shiyuan for the BOOK hahahahaha i feel so ... speechless!

THANK YOU peiyun for the brownies it is better than mine i hate to admit. :[

hoookey me tired already pictures plus further updates tmr, byebyebye. i shall come home to sleep tmr. NO MORE GOING OUT.

2009-05-28T09:13:00.003+08:00

hahaha hello happy birthday me! :B

2009-05-27T19:13:00.003+08:00

no, please don't ruin my mood lah. D: jiu treat it as ........ well idk, because it's my birthday? right... o.o

but lol that was seriously a wrong move renice, sooooo wrong. :[ you nubcake lah zag.

i am NOT staying up till past 12 today hahahahahahahahaha. :P okay maybe i am, we'll go with the mood.

i got a stupid idea leh. i will be late for assembly then come from the front gate then everybody sit down le then i slowly slowly dua pai walk in let everybody see my pretty face hahahahahahahaha, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAN RENICE. -.-

i forgot what i wanted to blog abt already leh i had lots to blog just now.

oh oh oh mummy got me eclipse already! for free. with the cover page torn away. i wonder where she got that pls. but it's hokay i just need the words. this is the sizzling hot book according to sy.

and did i mention i thought of isolating myself on my birthday? hahaha on my goddamn birthday. but what's wrong, it's just like a normal day whatzxz! hmmm? O.o o.O

okay i think my mood is ruined liaoz. >:( thank youuuu huh yo. and maybe, good job renice for making it possible!

2009-05-27T15:07:00.002+08:00

hahahaha hello i am so tired now i gonna go sleep pe was power.

AAD tmr so loser came out when we now then watch. o.O

nvm byebye lub lub.

p.s. wednesday is unhealthy day. fried chicken wings plus pe right after recess. cheers man when will i get appendicitis.

2009-05-26T20:57:00.002+08:00

AND OMG PHOTOTAKING WAS OMG HEARTBEAT LUB DUB LUB DUB LUB DUUUUB POPPING OUT HAHA OKAY THAT WAS VERY EXAGGERATED BUT LOLOLOLOL HAHAHA I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LUCK.

okay no it wasn't much of luck. big eye small eye, o.O no wrong. O.o hahaha. LAMEshit.

oh ya, i thought of something during lessons lol. since lub = love, then dub = hate? LOL omg so lame but eh don't make sense meh?? i dub you like siao pls. o.o haha cool yes i invented a SYNONYM for hate. ;]

2009-05-26T20:40:00.003+08:00

when you trip over love, you stand up again. when you fall in love, you fall forever............

LOL joke. funnily corny, cornily funny HAHAHAHA recess was roflmao agaaaaain. the milo van came today loool, kiasu singaporeans. INCLUDING ME LAH I LUBB MILO.

wah chinese was terrible lah my gosh 1.5 hrs he talk non stop can you imagine!?!? omg sleep also cannot sleep for the whole 1.5 hrs lah siao siao. i really should prepare a book in case such crisis happen again.

slept so much in school today. chem and amath. okay lah that didn't seem alot but i was SO tired i also don't know why leh. so rare i sleep during chem yo, but i think i still did listen to her as i was sleeping lor lol. bits and pieces lah huh.

and walaooooo i forgot to bring key out today then i had to camp at the doorstep until melissa come home walaoz. i am going to duplicate another set of keys.

ooookay goodbye.

2009-05-26T17:27:00.001+08:00

I AM GOING TO MAKE A SET OF SPARE KEYS ROAAAAR.

2009-05-25T19:02:00.002+08:00

R: Angels and demons tmr?
XM: No, tmr i cannot.
SY: Wednesday?
R: No, don't want. Thursday k?
XM SY: Okay.
-pause-
R: OH THURSDAY MY BIRTHDAY!!

ohhhh i am such a joke, roflmao o.o

the milo van came today. yeaaaaah right man, make me so excited before recess. i want my milo van yooo. but howell consolation, we had milo can from the vending machine. so weird everybody was buying milo too lor. i mean the ppl at the vending machine. lol okay no maybe it's because i don't notice usually. hmmm.

i was being partial today, so proud of myself hahahahaha. k random.

bye.

2009-05-24T22:18:00.003+08:00

Ploop i don't really know what to blog abt today ah. or maybe i just don't want or don't know how lah o.o

hurhurhur, i need to go find my hp tee.

goodbye. i need to get my hands on eclipse and breaking dawn to occupy myself! but wait, what to do after finishing those 2 books?

2009-05-23T19:23:00.002+08:00

aaaaaaaaw i feel so sad i also don't know why omgggggg i really think i am pmsing leh how :[ i wanna eat ice cream. i feel like skipping tuition tmr oh no i wanna cry. just now a bird flew into my room then it didn't wanna fly out then melissa was sleeping and i didnt know where the heck mummy went to she didnt turn on her phone and so i got so bloody frustrated + scared + whatever i almost crieeeeeeeeeed. walao nobody help me what i do sia.

today is crying day, blueeeeee day.

we should go sentosa soon seriously i go buy a yellow polka dot bikini then we go. :[ i wanna go out.

so dinner will be maggie mee lunch was macs melissa bought back. where the hell is my dear mother and what is wrong with her phone. haven't seen her for the whole day and this is so irritating lah disappear also say properly right, hell. bird infest our house eat me up also nobody will know.

AH I BLOODY DON'T LIKE THIS.

2009-05-23T18:38:00.001+08:00

woots i think i am pmsing oh mama sucker i feel so EMOTIONAL!

2009-05-23T17:35:00.001+08:00

ploop let's all go to sentosa.

editted:

2009-05-23T09:09:00.003+08:00

gooooood morning martians

i am going to be a good girl and do what mrs lam said: friday saturday sunday play whole day, monday fall sick and rest for another one week. ;]

hohoho not going to gran's house today so i can really play whole day, heehee.

byebye!

[edit]
okay i am so bored why did i wake up so early.
[/edit]

2009-05-22T21:21:00.002+08:00

I AM BACK BAAAAAABY! :D

shopping was great, just that now i'm penniless and i still owe sy $28, woots! but aye, 3 dresses, 1 pair of sandals and a belt for like $80+, no cheap? i think it is lah! Max & more really rocks socks, ;D

k i shall not rattle on abt shopping byebye!

2009-05-21T21:06:00.002+08:00

oh maaaan,

i really don't like how this feels eh, very very .. -.- i don't know how to describe, i dont want to describe. i still wonder why it cannot be like normal leh. i really really wonder and it just feels very scary like, i dont know? somehow now i really wished it didnt happen at all. then i wouldnt have to face all that plus i wouldn't lose a friend. no doubt i was really very happy but then, was it worth it, lol. no maybe i didn't lose a friend, but i am one complete friend less. or so to say, it seems more obligatory than natural. it seems like an obligation, this thing, rather than like, the others out there. aiya i am not making sense lah.

how many other friends have i risked?

and i need more life seriously. i realised i spoke less than 10 (?) complete sentences in class today. am i autistic or what! :/

i am bored with myself please come add some colours into my life. and i realised i haven't seen a rainbow since that morning last year. hmmm. hahaha kc you will be the next i see it with k. omg i cannot believe i just typed that lolz. maybe i should go like profess my looooove hor, like hey, you wanna catch a rainbow with me? yes that's coool! no okay it isn't, or rather it isn't cool enough. IT IS SO ... CORNY. (omg this word always reminds me of the ultimate corn pro, L, really imba lol joke.) lolol roflmao. o.o

kbye please shoot kc, ;B it'll be perfect. k no lah, maybe next to perfect, reaaaally!!

2009-05-21T19:37:00.005+08:00

ho baby, life's good life's good think of the children starving like mad in philipines, then look back at the papers. hmmm i don't know what smiley to put here leh. :] or :[ or D: or :/ ...

please please please paper ones please be good. i wish we had pe leh i feel so ... stonned. been a looong time since i sweat, at least 3 good weeks no proper exercise feels kinda uncomfortable omg is this me? o.O but ohbells i wanna go cycling leh, or running or roller blading. i wanna go to the beaaach not for the breakwater but for the outdoors? i wanna sweaaat leh. i want starbucks too. hahahaha want want want.

i am going to be happy that we're going shopping tmr, :] yes i am definite it is a :] thang. phase 2 post exam activities.

and surprisingly mummy didn't scold me for my results eh. just that, i'm going for ANOTHER tuition but aiya i foreseen that since the day i took the paper so ohwell i'm not complaining. 4.5hrs at Aspen on sunday, great man. and another super super wow thing is, she ask me if i can put bio aside then concentrate other subs. OF COURSE CAN LAH i want to man! i think my other 6 subjs can lah, 7 minus amath ma. yes, so end of mid years let's look forward to prelims i will study this time ard.

what's done is done aye? my birthday's in a week's time let's be happy.

19

2009-05-21T15:57:00.002+08:00

there's only emath and english paper 1 left. coincidental or not, i dont know but there 2 papers are gonna decide my fate. summary was a disappointment wow why am i so geh kiang.

blah this is the 3rd time i'm in such a situation again, and as usual, i knew the consequences but i still went abt doing what i wanted, not what i needed to do. what am i man? i would've been crying every other period if i didn't control myself. 3rd time, when will be the last. ah, forget it.

but well i should be consoled i finally did something against my want. good job, first step successfully made.

2009-05-20T22:33:00.003+08:00

ah, i suddenly damn scared get back hist ss omg. physics alsooooooo shitballs lah. i will be so so depressed seriously i can tell. gosh physics pls don't let me down.

editted:

2009-05-20T20:53:00.004+08:00

omfg can you believe we were exhibiting ourselves in a function room (supposedly able to hold 80-100 ppl) with a pool table, 2 bar tables and 2 stretches of couches for 5 holy hours. :] yup so we performed like FOC striptease, pole dance, sexy pool table poses omg those lucky bastards maan, keep staring in. No, lucky bitches too. i bet they were so jealous of us keep staring in siol.

CAN YOU IMAGINE, LIKE SEVEN OF US IN ONE BLOODY BIG FUNCTION ROOM! hahahaha the moment we step in it was woooooow. and for once my lateness came as an advantage right, :D IF I WASN'T LATE WE WILL GET THAT SMALL SMALL ROOM LE RIGHT! hahahahaha, please say i rock.

well we seriously made full use of the room. the pool sticks pool table stools couches walao, 物尽其用. zooooooomg i still cannot believe we got that room. but sadly today ugly hair day so the pictures weren't very nice blaaah. oh they sang a 1 week + 1 day earlier happy birthday song for me AW yes amanda i am so touched you should be touched too i gave you my muuuuuuacks, for the second time. THE ROOM WAS REALLY HUMONGOUSLY BIGGGGGGGG! i cannot stop raving abt it when will we ever get this kind of luck again man! :O

woots, but there's school tmr o.o it really felt like a friday leh i was still thinking how good tmr can sleep late then i realise TMR IS THURSDAY there'll be hist ss amath hcl emath phys maybe eng also i forgot. wah that means we'll be getting back like ALL the papers omggggggg sian. :[

oh today was so rushy i didn't have time to mourn over bio but now i got so much time i start to feel..... disappointed. k lah i already guessed i will get this kind of marks but that doesn't mean won't sad ma right! :[ feel kinda bad towards mrs liang, just now went to get marks from her cause add wrongly, then she look at my marks then ended up remarking one question to give me extra marks. but howell, one mark + one mark didn't really help alot lah. then i didn't know whether to say thank you or sorry, in the end i say thank you. well, idk. blah blah blah what can i do anywaaaaaay, nvm!

walao i really hope i can get like A for physics, i will be so so sad if i get B3 then one mark to A2. :[ and i hope my that chem mcq question is right, then maybe can round up my marks. aaaaaaaw so.... sian. hope my L1R5 doesn't snowball till 25 again stupid i don't want to have so much fate with 25. :o[

tmr will be a super sian day zaaaag.

howell whatever, KBOX IN A FUNCTION ROOM, HOW COOL IS THAT. :P

BYEBYE. pictures when sy uploads them.

[edit]
oh and i think how six songs collide very cool. i just realised. it was my alarm tone last time so it became a very very veeeeeery irritating song. and then xm sy keep singing then i went to hear. it's really actually very coolz. ;B
[/edit]

2009-05-19T20:53:00.002+08:00

oh my mama,

it feels so, scary leh. lol k i'll just conclude i said inappropriate things again the night before, zzz~

well, you think you know it all, but no you don't, trust me.

i hate changes.

and mama chem still suck lor. i wasn't so affected when i got it back, then slowly, influence become bigger, o.o ;[ D:

blah blah i need to laugh hahahahahaha.

editted: 25 minutes

2009-05-19T19:18:00.006+08:00

WOOOOTS k even though i am quite sad abt my chem, i am going to ignore it. BUT I FEEL SO WASTED LAAAAAH. I HOPE I GET THAT MCQ CORRECT THEN GET ONE MARK MORE THEN MAYBE ROUND UP, UP ONE MORE GRADE. :[ :[ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw man, :[ i shouldn't have made that careless mistake walao bahchiutakstamp.

and so i said even though, right? yup, so even though chem sucked, I STILL AM VERY EXCITED WE CAN GO KBOX TMR YAY :D :D :DDDDDDD confirm plus chop sore throat again woots. heheeeee.

OKAY BYE!

[edit]
oh well today's topic during the break was GUYS looool. yup guys. MY GUY, HER GUY, HER GUY. ;] sy is the saddistic one, xm is the idk what she is one, i am the .... look like xnr, but actually quite dnr but wanna be xnr one. confusing? naawl it isn't. i am the don't wanna make decisions, but still want my way. SO that equates to ... a soulmate? someone who can understand what I WANT and make the decisions I WANT so i can get what i want without making decisions looool. thats .. dnr. o.O but i wanna be xnr leeeeeeh. nono or rather, i want a mcp! no maybe not super mcp, a mild one will do, to make the decisions I WANT for me. OH! MY GUY MUST BE CHARMING LIKE, TWINK TWINK TWINK, *heart melt oooomg* ;P but then sadly kc still losing leh, :[ but aiya cannot blame, the force too large to overcome already hoho. gogo kc, i am waiting to seeee. ;D

2009-05-19T14:05:00.001+08:00

SIAN! got back chem today. don't know if i should be happy or sad. o.o

2009-05-18T20:15:00.002+08:00

omg omg omg i just had a revelation.

why should i be emo when it wouldn't help anything, when it wouldn't give me back my life.

i was so very tempted to whine in this post, cause it's um, so much easieeeer. but lol then i thought of how excited i was just now for exams to end, for wednesday's kbox!!! and friday's crazy shopping!! so i decided i should not be emo! even if i am i also shouldn't whine cause it'll create a very very conducive for further emoing, ;] woots i feel so _! i mean, i think this is finally the time i learn my lesson. already 碰够钉子 le laaah.

at the start of the day when i was walking to canteen i suddenly had this thought: what if i didn't join sj. would my life be better now?

well, concluded with 2 answers. life'll either be much much better, or much much worse. yup it will never be as good, or close to that. idk why but i just feel like that. aw but imagine sec 1-4 without them! oh that reminds me sy is a THREAT to my survival omg she has so many of my blooddy hideous photos >:[

emath was fine i guess? was so sian the paper so many questions do until wanna dieeeeeee die dieee! but oh well i still finished before time. was so sleepy wanted to sleep but lucky i check the paper first. found one stupid careless mistake, 3 marks worth leh! hahaha i feel so proud of myself yay. :D but then i left the vectors question blank cause i completely forgot what vectors were, :O

lol and then bio. walao i really lmao-ed before the paper and i think i lost all my knowledge. hey sy you suck. and omg shelley you need to start laughing you will get internal injuries if you keep controlling like that! burst like a balloon ah. so i tikam aloooot! all the answers like correct, -.- that's what i hate abt mcq lah stupid.

i finished reading new moon ytd night lol so i had to wake up at 4am to study bio. eh lucky i did. got 2 mcq come out from the book lols. maybe more but i nv see. so i got 2 secure marks, provided i rmb the answers correctly. o.o

TMR CHEM PHYSICS THEN MID YEARS END!!! but oh man getting back chem 2 tmr, zzzz~ :[ and bio on wed, ahhhhh. k nvm im prepared for it already, drop the bomb baby!

i have $110 for post exam activities, after saving like mad for 2 weeks, okay not mad, but because exams so i don't spend. wonder why leh. and i went to empty my moomoocow, $20 worth of coins. SO, that means i have like $80 for shopping on friday, $30 for kbox! woots i am happy, but my moomoocow is a sad cow cause it don't moo anymore. :[

haha ooookay bye bye. muuuuuuacks.

我不要管了！

oh anw xm, yun ji hoo is much much much mucccch x 1000 more charming than su yi jeong kk. :[ esp when he got that 沉默 expression hahahahaha you'll see it so often in the later episodes ooomg. BUT i shall not deny su yi jeong is the prettiest, ;D but goo jun pyo is handsome, his curly hair so cute. pabo.

sian give me an edward cullen lah i don't mind being in mortal danger every second of my life. or let me be geum chan di, walao got one goo jun pyo some more got yun ji hoo, :[

kk bye!

2009-05-17T21:10:00.003+08:00

and the biggest problem ever, the root of practically all problems, is how impulsive i am, how rash i am. i usually know the consequences of whatever i'm going to say, but i still say it cause i really feel i should say what i feel more than think of the consequences and swallow my words back in. and that seriously ruined half the good things i ever had in my life. since when did i not know i always speak with no reference to the consequences. i have acknowledged that fact for as long as i could rmb.

and the word is tolerance. compromise too, perhaps.

2009-05-16T01:31:00.003+08:00

walalala i know why i don't want my birthday to come already.

i guess it's because life's like a pile of shit now, so horribly pathetic. i don't wanna waste a birthday like that. like, so ... idk how to say lah.

k maybe that's not even the reason lah. that dont want bday to come thought its like, a flash and then influence me for so long. o.o

kk bye i'll go sleep.

2009-05-15T22:10:00.003+08:00

OH MAMA I SUDDENLY DON'T WANT MY BIRTHDAY TO COME OMG I AM FEELING SO CRAZY. I ALSO DON'T KNOW WHY JUST. I DON'T WANT IT TO COME LAH ARGH. >:[

i just have that dreaded feeling abt it, idk whyyyyyy. first time in my LIFE i ever feel this way. walao what is wrong with me yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. ><

2009-05-15T21:07:00.003+08:00

wow, new moon's unexpectedly nice. peeped at the last chapter, or rather i went to read the last chapter. human vs vampire, lol give me a vampire lover, i don't mind. suck my blood make me vampire too, i wouldn't mind. the presence of a soul brings about so much, too much.

What if you sincerely believed something was
true, but you were dead wrong?
What if you were so stubbornly sure that you were
right, that you wouldn't even consider the truth?
Would the truth be silenced,
or would it try to break through?

恼人心悬

2009-05-15T15:33:00.004+08:00

woots thanks xm if i do badly for amath it's gonna be your fault. (yes for once i can relieve myself of the blame)

but eh i am so proud of myself i managed to solve a few qusetions that i skipped. don't know if i got the right answer lah but lol at least i managed some working right.

physics was kinda fine. i didn't study light ytd night so luckily not much came out. only the optical fibre thang. i think i drew correctly then i anyhow crapped an explanation. my other answers seemed kinda weird leh like wrong but also correct o.o whatever.

it's friday i can sleep all i want now yay baby.

你要我怎么办？

aw my birthday's coming but it seems so no birthday feeling. :[ wow my birthday's coming, cannot believe it.

i rmb last year this time i was shopping with rachel yeo at bugis for Bs haha while the rest were doing pd at little india. it was bfsd, ;D we walked the entire bugis street for good quality ones so tiring lah! had to be soft enough, if not too rough will get abrasion LOL. ended up with sesame street i think? in pink! hers was spongebob! i guess. i was so thoughtful plox. and then i was starving like a mad cow cause i had to fast for the surgery. oh no, not so early. i rmb we were sitting at the stairs eating sushi, so i couldn't have been fasting. lolol sometimes i wish my memory wasn't so good -.- and yet again, it's put to the wrong use! imagine if i could rmb physics like that man. no, make it bio.

haha bye. :]

2009-05-14T18:05:00.002+08:00

wooots idk why i feel so high now but i just am very excited. another 3 more days after tmr's amath and physics yay. zomg after exams, KBOX MOVIE SHOPPING WALAO SHIOOOK. yup shopping last priority already cause i have little money left, and after kbox and movie, i will have even lesser, aw. :[ !

am at chapter 9 of physics! good progress eh, i think. to me. another 10 more chapters in 3 hours LOL. hmmm, great. o.o pressure is directly proportional to temperature provided volume is constant. pressure is indirectly proportional to volume provided temperature is constant. volume is directly proportional to temperature provided pressure is constant. ;D i can rmb kk.

WOOHOO EXAMS ARE ENDING SOON OMG. OMG OMG OMG OMG NO MORE SLEEPING LATE I AM SO SORRY TO ALL MY BRAIN CELLS. EH I REALLY FEEL VERY GUILTY FOR ABUSING MY BRAIN LIKE THAT LAH. :[

but whatever! byeeeeeeeeeee.

oh wait, hey bestie you suck like effing no mum lah. but well 大人不记小人过 (literal), so i will not care abt you. YOU BITCHIE, MEANIE, i am so sorry you have to suffer my wrath even though you didn't offend me. but, i just simply just don't like your cockface. no actually you did offend me. and a great big deal at that. so, please consider yourself lucky i don't intend to kick you or cover you in a gunny sack and whack you up. :]

whoo, i feel so comfortable now. back to physics.

2009-05-14T13:24:00.003+08:00

k i am bent on doing well for physics. so that means me studying everything very thoroughly, which also means starting now. i shall not sleep later than 12 today, so i have to finish physics by 9 and revise amath once more till bedtime.

woots physics i love you. please love me too. :[

OH, another consolation, kbof is premiering on saturday wooooohoo. hello geum chan di! goo joon pyo! yoon ji hoo!! woots miyaneh~~~ they are all mine.

BYE.

2009-05-14T11:08:00.002+08:00

well ytd for once i felt contented the way i am now. it's a very contradicting feeling: life really sucks, but yet i feel okay with it. ..?

but whatever it is, bloody amath had to screw the f up and i am so super irritatedly pissed with it. burn in hell lah wtf. should have studied physics first but what crap i bet i will be equally pissed.

right here, right now.

2009-05-14T09:58:00.004+08:00

why don't scientists discover some lazybug-digesting enzyme or why can't my phagocytes engulf lazy bugs? :[

i am awake, i wanna study but then once i sit on my table i feel like going to sleep more. seriously, my eyes will feel like closing then i will lie down and use comp again -.-

come on, touch it, eat it all up.

2009-05-13T18:33:00.002+08:00

blah blah blah i am stuck at math again! o.o catch no balls, see no light, poop!

had a very satisfying undisturbed non-guilty sleep just now, slept all my eye circles away, or at least so to me :] i cant believe i have the whole of tmr to study for physics yay. i will not slack tmr i will mug my sexy ass off because physics may be the only hope left!

k i know i will regret whatever i've done/been doing for the past few days/weeks when i get the papers back. confirm guarantee plus chop. esp bio i guess. but lol, that's still weeks away so i'll just bask in the joy of uncertainty til then :D since i know i will get into trouble, why not enjoy now and face the same consequence thereafter, hmmm? oh man, wise.

goodbye i feel like sleeping again.

amath + bio

2009-05-13T14:12:00.002+08:00

walalalala,

both papers today were screwed, but lol, cannot really expect much from just reading chap summaries and stalling at every other question in the practice paper. o.o so the real amath paper, question 1, manageable (thank god i learnt how to do ytd), and then the rest, slowly all don't know how do. skip until so shiok then in the end i just anyhow-ed some working who knows i might get the marks! crap man super screwed i almost didn't know how to do the whole paper laaah~

bio too. slept at 9 plus ytd night woke up at 12, and then started to read my bio storybook. as in, really just open the tb and read read read. from mol genetics backwards. k lah got memorise but then in the end i forgot so many things during the paper z! lol neuclotides polyneuclotides, amino acid is peptide??? joke lol. lmao-ed outside the hall while trying very very hard to differentiate all the shit tides for mg. -.- well the paper was idk leh, grey area. looks easy but then i alot don't know cause i forgot. so left blanks and then anyhow fill in at the end cause i couldn't be bothered to think already. i mean, trying to squeeze things out from a balnk mind, um, futile? and so i gave up and went to sleep. for the last 15 mins lol. eh first time i gave up trying to recall the ans lah. but aiya, not pinning much hopes on bio, considering the fact that i was semi-conscious while revising.

howell whatever. sucky day i shall go sleep and do amath later. maybe paper 1 can save me lah huh, at least let me pass. or don't fail so horribly. ohhhh physics too. it's a love-hate thang, me towards physics. hope i will end up seeing light for light, as in the chapter light, and thermal physics and whatever crap topics i have been fumbling with since last year. god bless me.

i think i'm cool today. :D cool in the 潇洒 form. lol or maybe cause i just couldn't be bothered attempting the questions lah but howell i'm still cool. i believe mrs liang will call me up for one to one again. hmmm.

bye!

2009-05-12T19:24:00.002+08:00

oh i realised i didn't mention abt today's papers hahaha.

i thnk i can pass chem! maybe a B or so? not sure. seems passable but lol this kind of impression usually is a misconception zag! everytime i think it's okay it will end up like some piece of shit but actually this time like easier than the rest eh? k maybe cause i JUST studied those chapters few hours before, or maybe cause i caught the balls already hohoho. but lol i stun at the first question cause i forgot all my oxides stuff but hohoho!!! i rmb that gp 1 are reducing agents so i know how to do the first one lol k random.

woooooots history was um, good and bad. i feel so bloody clever/lucky whatever cause ytd night, i studied 2.1 and 2.2 then i went on to chem already. then like 3 plus i went to sleep, alarm set at 4 to study 3.1 and 3.2. but lol as usual i snoozed and snoozed ended up waking up at 4.30 and poop, 1 hr plus for 2 chapters so i just read thru blah blah. can't expect to rmb much from that lah. but the point is, walao i was so mofo stun (again -.-) when i saw the paper hahaha i wanted to turn ard and tell shelley i feel so clever. SUPER TEMPTED TO! but aiya sbq was so super screwed i couldnt even understand the comparecontrast q and i didnt do the 8marks q zzz!! :( yup so good + bad hopefully will balance out.

BYE

2009-05-12T18:52:00.003+08:00

ah blah blah blah blah i foresee much whining throughout the period i am awake.

bio suck like some no mum idiot i don't really wanna know how my menstrual cycle comes abt, and i don't need to know how plants transport nutrients :( :( :( :( shitballs should've just gone for phys chem hist lit. pooooop.

and hey who the heck set our amath syllabus why do we need to know area under a graph. esp if i gonna work in the hospitality industry what the heck has it gotta do with memeeee? :(

go to hell please. headache since morning till now cause i slept so goddamn little. oh my god poor brain cells sorry.

2009-05-12T18:12:00.004+08:00

oh god why didn't i just die while studying ytd night. then i wouldn't have to study bio. SUCK BALLS z. should i just random pia here and there and like skip mol genetics. blah blah i dont understand a shit of mg and i need to sleep. brain cells gonna be half dead by the end of tmr. k maybe 3-quarters.

it's sympathy, yo?

BYE

2009-05-11T21:16:00.003+08:00

omgomg renicegohyeechien you are dead screwed juiced chopped minced meat. screw youuu!

i REALLY spotted. gonna study chapter 2.1, 2.2, 3.1. or maybe, just 2.1 and 3.1. omg screw me inside out if 2.2 3.2 4.1 comes out. seriously i will die. walao shit i am super scared already. omg or should i study 2.1 and 2.2?? i am halfway thru 2.1 and i shouldn't have done that should i! should've studied 2.3 then 3.1 then 2.1! ZOMGGG and i forgot abt my chem. screw you stalin.

bye.

2009-05-11T12:02:00.004+08:00

omg i feel so guilty already but lol I OWE YOU MILLIONS KKKKKKK!! trillions if i do well.

tyvm you rock like no mum.

2009-05-10T21:52:00.007+08:00

The truth is a stranger.

I wish for a day when being happy isn't a chore. A day i have that tranquility i dreamt abt. One day is enough, seriously. I wouldn't mind giving up anything for that, even if it means failing midyears.

Let's hope tmr will be better.

On a random note, i miss talking to peiyun for idk what reason. Crazy ass. :[

2009-05-10T14:45:00.004+08:00

Had a dream last night. Been a very long time since i dreamt such a dream. It was a good good dream, i felt peaceful, calm, that sort of feeling that consoles me, in such a period of life, it made me feel 平服-ed. Tranquil yes. Nothing else seemed big enough to affect me, the negativity of anything else could never engulf the tranquility i felt, the consolation i felt. It was a very very great dream, powerful, with its simplicity aside. That will really be enough for me. But of course, it was just a dream and i woke up ultimately, however much i wanted the dream to continue, forever and ever. I was happy, happy from the inside. Smiling happy.

2009-05-09T19:21:00.002+08:00

K hang in there your mercy relief aid is coming soon, very very soon. Gogogo.

Blah don't wanna think abt it already.

yup, facade.

2009-05-08T22:21:00.003+08:00

Am very inclined toward the word FUCK and its related forms now. I mean, as a verb noun adjective and what else is there, it fits my life. To the T.

Pokpok, can i have one? Idk but i'm kinda phobic of being online on these kinda days. Hahaha crap i know why but i just don't wanna admit it. Roflmaooooo.

No more BOF already, saddening ah. I wanna study but then no place for me to study properly.

Quicksand, this is like quicksand. You sink faster than you can ever try to escape. The more you struggle, the deeper you go. And then comes a time where you give up trying totally because it's too tiring, and it seems much easier to sink in, though it's dumb clear you'll die by doing so. You know you'll reach the bottom and die i guess, but it just is too difficult to get out of it so well, you just choose to go down the easier path. It takes a god-like being to be me and at the same time possess that kind of determination to outdo that pool of quicksand.

Bye, life. I'll miss you so.

1300 ̊C

2009-05-08T22:06:00.002+08:00

Ah lala nothing more for me to do already.

Blah blah blah blah, i don't really know what to say already.

Bye.

2009-05-07T18:51:00.002+08:00

有时不刻意去面对事情，不要想太多，人生会更幸福。

Well it read something like that, the end of a hcl passage.

makes me wonder

2009-05-07T18:42:00.004+08:00

I wore my contacts the opposite way today, left to right, right to left. No wonder it was so blur. Literally scribbled through hcl. Was so sleepy cause i slept at 2 ytd night watching korean BOF. Plus my vision was so blur can't really see properly anyway.

:) am a little happier today. But doing emath paper made me feel so demoralised. Thought i knew all le but actually still ain't really sure but howell i'll take it as it comes don't really have that fighter's spirit for this exams anymore.

Blah blah blah blah.

2009-05-06T22:43:00.004+08:00

i've got a effed up big problem it's super obvious but idk where it really lies, and idk what to do. bawled my eyeballs out today, once again. i really didn't understand why things are like that. i still don't, i really really don't. who doesn't know letting yourself zgdl won't change a thing. but somehow or rather, i'd choose to zgdl instead of trying hard. it's, easier. and i forgot how i reduced myself to this state, from what i rmb, i was already up and fighting, recovering well. took me 3 months, and counting. then now here comes another stupid shit, i don't even know where itcame from.

oh god, drop me a solution. or maybe, break down my thick skull and make me accept the fact that nobody is gonna wanna hear abt my soppy sad life and there's really only myself to rely on. yup, however much i hate that, no matter how much i'm used to seeking solace in the ppl ard me, i'll have to take it as a fact. time i broke down this nutshell and look life as it is supposed to be. but who am i kidding i know i'll just continue zgdling after this post.

till then, i'm shutting up. i'm always used to expressing my emotions, but ultimately, did it help in any way? possibly yes, for a moment, and i'm back to where i was. well then since it isn't useful then there's no point in doing so. prehaps keeping silent will make things better.

2009-05-06T14:08:00.002+08:00

Hihi, o.o

Aristocracy
1. a class of persons holding exceptional rank and privileges, esp. the hereditary nobility.
2. a government or state ruled by an aristocracy, elite, or privileged upper class.
3. government by those considered to be the best or most able people in the state.
4. a governing body composed of those considered to be the best or most able people in the state.
5. any class or group considered to be superior, as through education, ability, wealth, or social prestige.

Haha lao ma zi is right. Aristocratic govt is a govt made up of nobles. But i rmbed it after the exam zag crap.

Eng was fine but walao i stomach cramp damn lots of times. Kinda scary eh, cause like all my answers seem so straightforward, like so unusual scully i wrong. Where will so straightforward! Roar nvm eng. Oh, the first question answer i wrote "delicately" then i just thought abt it again. The answer's really elaborate. An elaborate affair, means an affair that has been planned for quite abit, which also means detailed, yes? Walaooooz why i keep having such lag 启发s...

Then ss. Walao i spend so much time getting the usefulness evidence proving format right in the end never come out, mofo! End up got the biased question WHICH I DIDN'T REALLY BOTHER MUCH ABT SINCE SHE ONLY EXPLAINED IT TO US ON THE LAST LESSON SO I THOUGHT IT WOULDN'T COME OUT, MOFO AGAIN. You lucky bitch! But lol i did that ques based on my memory of what she wrote on the whiteboard. Identify biasedness, establish reliability, cross refer, conclusion. K i hope that image wasn't warped or whatsoever. Walao crap loooor! Didn't finish (c) and (d) should have done c first cause 7 marks rather than that stupid 6 marks biased question that i have no confidence in walaooooooo. In the end i think i also cross refer wrongly. I CR to the eagle source MOFO!

But lolol am satisfied with my SEQs! First time i know what to write immediately when i get the question. Wah lucky i never bet my life on v if not i will die super horribly. Ytd night wanted to pia v, but then i went to sleep instead and planned to wake up at 4 to study but LOL my alarm clock rang and i change to 4.30, then i snoooooooze all the way till 5.30 then i got ready go school. HAHA, noobcake. So in school i ended up chionging globalisation. Ahaha i hope they don't fail me seriously. But actually now i think abt it, v also doable de lor, but cause i didn't wanna think lol. If i think harder i will rmb whats aristocratic, then the mercenary, can say abt the loyal general, etc etc. But WHATEVER! I would still have done globalisation cause it's so bloody straightforward woots! This also first time i write so muuuuch, approx 2 page for both. usually only 1 page + abit. Haaha but i know alot of things i write is kinda crap. And the impact question my MIR was most crap. Really no logic find logic unreasonable qiang ci duo li. But LOL who knows i can get it.

Hahaha and i'm going to spot for hist. I AM GOING TO SPOT FOR HISTORY!!!! In the event that the questions aren't what i spotted, i will raise both hands, look up to the heavens and ask god whhyyyyyyyyyy.....? Then i will look down at the paper again, if the questions still doesn't change, imma go sleep. Yup great plan, go for it! :]

Oookies lao ma zi gonna go sleep. GLJY geoggies! Have fun with your trees and meanders, byeee!

2009-05-05T21:04:00.002+08:00

Omg shit i am risking everything that i memorised for ss to type this post omg. But i just have to say,

THE KOREAN VERSION OF BOYS OVER FLOWERS IS DUMB NICE. THOUGH I STILL THINK METEOR GARDEN IS THE BEST AND THE JAP VERSION IS SECOND BEST BUT EVEN AT THIRD PLACE, THE KOREAN VERSION IS STILL GOOD. (EVEN THOUGH THEY CHANGE THE NAMES I ONLY KNOW WHOSE SHAN CAI HUA ZE LEI AND DAO MING SI AND THE HUA ZE LEI LOOK LIKE TANK EEW BUT STILL SHUAI)

HAHAHA SUCKBALLS I ALWAYS INTEND TO STUDY WHEN MY SISTER USES THE COMP BUT THEN SHE ALWAYS WATCH KOREAN F4 THEN I CANNOT HELP IT I GO WATCH ALSO THEN I END UP NEVER STUDY MUCH. NOT NEVER STUDY AT ALL.

GOD BLESS ME DON'T LET EVERYTHING I MEMO FOR SS LEAK OUT THROUGH MY EARS OR IN THE FORM OF DROOL WHILE I SLEEP TONIGHT. I FEEL SO DUMB INSECURE MAYBE I SHOULD WAKE UP AT LIKE 4 IN THE MORNING TO STUDY ONCE MORE HOR.

YEAH OKAY I WILL. BYE I GONNA BEI MORE. GOT A PWNADE TO FIGHT TMR. YKNOW, CRUSADE... PWNADE? THE HOLY PWNAGE WAR? LOL SORRY BLOODY LAME DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. KBBGLHFJYJY! MUACKS!

2009-05-05T19:58:00.003+08:00

Okay noob, stop thinking abt it already, since it's ambiguous, just take it as you are. Put aside those thoughts, think abt it when you really have to, like say 10 years later. Maybe by then you'll already forget, maybe by then it'll seem like no big deal.

Today's tuesday school sucked. Slept through reading period, listened through chem, studied through amath, dazed through eng, slept through recess, tried doing phys paper during physics (must've irritated the hell outta xiangrong), sianed like no mum through chinese.

And then we went for No Apologies, yeah. Laughed through it, mryeow's dumb funny. He makes alot of sense, really. I gotta admit he makes sense, even abt things i wish he wasn't right abt. But lol, it's time to lean noton your own understanding. Maybe it's good to accept the world's logic, instead of insisting and having blind faith, in humanity. Afterall, venice's insistence in maintaining it's monopoly in trade caused it's downfall didn't it! ;) i studied.

We got to watch mr yeow's wedding video. Was touched eh, tears almost formed. Lol i wonder if i'll ever get the chance to be that touched on my wedding. K i'm going to believe i'll have this really wonderful fairytale wedding. Ah mama but i guess it's going to be very unfair walao i feel bloody guilty now. Oh no not going to think so much already. I've got 2 battles to fight tmr. :]

I'm not gonna be afraid to fall. I'm gonna learn to accept whatever's been said, even though i don't wanna believe it.

it's a bloody big deal, actually.

2009-05-05T16:05:00.004+08:00

And so i'm going to live in this ambiguity for the rest of my life, with that thorn poking out lol? Nobody know but i know what. I am i am i am, yeah of course i am to you. But haha joke what else can you say right. Not like you will come make it up. Yup i am, so you can free yourself.

Bugger. Life sucks, i shouldnt have went school today then i wouldn't have to think so much. Now and for life.

2009-05-04T22:34:00.002+08:00

Oh manzzz,

Hello jocelyn i just saw your tag, thank you so much love. You jiayou too okay i'm so sorry i couldn't meet up with you last wednesday but i swear i will make it up after the exams. I'll see you at Vj k, no ugly green uniform for me! Or perhaps, i'll invite you to stay at my hotel when i start working if i ever decide to go tp for HTM. Aw love you loads. :]

2009-05-04T21:29:00.002+08:00

Hokaye so i chose BWDGX + MLB + Korean F4 over emath, i am so ashamed... Lol. -.-

But lol unwind maaaaaaaaaaa. Oh man that's a bad reason, i unwinded for the whole day. But then i did try to study emaths, but i just couldnt bering myself to go on further at the sight of probability.. Zzz! Nvm i think i will just end up feeling so guilty and stay up studying again, poo!

Oh 哎哟望着天空拍一拍呀
勉强不来
老天爱本小孩~~~

Yes god loves me. ;]

2009-05-04T19:41:00.003+08:00

Walao sian!
BWDGX or emath? :[ instant gratification vs future gratification, HMMMMM. Whatever!

PICTURES, random.

WELL THIS BRINGS ME GRATIFICATION CAUSE IT'S EVIDENCE I STUDIED!

LAONIANG'S FUTURE CAR #1

BYE!

2009-05-04T14:48:00.003+08:00

Hello, ;)

school was fineee today, ss hist formats are confusing lah but nvm! 1.5 hrs of chem didn't seem very bad today, learnt/revised! Lol mrs lam revise until like chem is dumb easy. K so maybe it is lah but i just haven't seen the light YET. I saw some through the murky waters today though, :] so yup, that's the day for you.

I finished sec 3 emaths + Standard D ytd night, hoho. The last time i said i finished 3A, then i went to sleep. But then i couldn't sleep cause like very 不安心 so i got up and studied all the way till 12 plus, finishing 3B + SD, woots. So i realised i don't hate studying, i just hate studying ss. Suck balls ss.

K i'll go sleep and then wake up finish emath and perhaps study ss again, feel so insecure. But aye i think the remaining emath chapters enough to keep me busy already. I'll be having a hard time understanding, roar. BYE!

2009-05-03T21:13:00.010+08:00

The peace that surpasses all understandings. I really really need that. I need to relax and keep calm. How can i ever do math if i always get irritated once i don't understand. Argh, i'd give anything to end it right now.

Suck balls please.

Editted:
But well at least i finished the entire 3A tb already, though it took only 1 chapter to finish it up cause i studied the 5 others a few days back. Other than that i tried to study abit more of ss, read my notes blah. Should i be consoled by that fact? :/

And walao to ppl who says panadol, a.k.a. paracetamol, is no good for health, please go bang your head on the wall.

Because they have heard that a large dose of paracetamol can damage the liver,
some people mistakenly believe that a small dose of paracetamol must therefore
be able to cause minor damage to the liver. Taken long-term, in proper
therapeutic doses, the liver and other organs should not be harmed by
paracetamol.

Taken from http://www.assistpainrelief.com/info/paracetamol/

No i didn't read the entire article because it's mofo-ly long. I ctrl+F-ed. Initially because of what ppl say abt the paracetamol staying in your body for n years before it is completely removed from the system, thus no good for health, i try to avoid taking panadol even though the pain is mofo-ly unbearable so i can live a little longer. Out of like my 100 recent headaches i only took panadol once which is the day i ahd fever! But then, the article also says that

Paracetamol has a half-life of about two hours, after which it will rapidly be expelled from the body.

and

Paracetamol is primarily metabolised in the liver. Paracetamol and its two
primary metabolites are remarkably safe compounds. About 90% of the
dose of paracetamol will be combined with glucuronide and sulphate before being
excreted. Of the remaining 10%, about 5% will leave the body unchanged and the
other 5% will be oxidized to benzoquinoneimine. The benzoquinoneimine is then
combined with glutathione and becomes metabolised on to cysteine and
mercapturate compounds before being safely excreted
via the kidneys.

Z, 那我不是白白的受苦了吗？Gosh! So firstly, the rumour that paracetamol is bad for health is nothing but a rumour. And secondly, paracetamol and its friends doesn't even stay in the body. Wahaha call me a mythbuster. ;) Imma go take panadol now to relieve this stupid headache. It's been there since i woke up lah wth! Bugger.

2009-05-03T17:09:00.002+08:00

Hey hi.

I've got the "what's there to life?" feeling now. Again, yeah again. I'm always having such stupid feelings, z. But seriously if i had the choice i wouldn't choose to live this life. Blah!

还是别说好了，说了还是一样。

so did my eyes so i could see~

2009-05-02T18:10:00.003+08:00

Okay i'm taking back what i said about not being able to concentrate when studying outside. I concentrate better! Oh mama. But aiya alot of time wasted travelling but aye, quality. Woots come on ppl let's all go out study. Renice is up for grabs as a study buddy!! ;D

And hohohoho, i finally see the plus points already. Even though i will feel a little weird but at least i won't BZSMXW already and at least i am at peace with myself haha! Peace peace, inner peace. ;] woots!

Kkz bye so long farewell~ tuition tmr moohahahaha, me like tuition, (L) OH MAN BUT I BET I WILL GO BORDERS TO DROOL OVER THOSE PAPERCHASE NOTEBOOKS AGAIN, >:[ if so, it will be the THIRD time i'm doing it. Rar if only my dad was some tycoon, then i will be a filthy rich bitch i can buy ALL the paperchase notebooks on EARTH and um.. use it as toilet paper! Oh nawl that's so .. inconsiderate. BUT I WANT MY PAPERCHASE NOTEBOOK! I will be oh so motivated to study if i have one of those pretty notebooks for me to write notes. Oh throw in a set of pretty pens and it will be prefecto, serious.

Walao i think i;ve been very crappy nowadays huh. Lamely crap i'm so sorry, *extends my greatest apology, maybe a 10947987km long one.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRY. No this does not represent the extent of my apology. So sorry.

K LAH BYE. ME NEED TO SLEEP. WALAO COFFEE BEAN MOCHA CAN'T EVEN KEEP ME AWAKE, yo???

2009-05-02T12:09:00.003+08:00

Woots goodbye ppl, no more whining todaaaaaaaay! K at least for the afternoon.

I SWEAR I WILL FINISH SS + 3/4 HISTORY TODAY. SOMPAH GUARANTEE PLUS CHOP!

2009-05-02T09:47:00.002+08:00

Oh my mamaaaaaaa!

It's dumb noisy got construction work downstaaaaaaaaairs, keep drilling, >:[ k i hope i can concentrate lah wth, zz. Saturday still work, siao!

it's a crime you know.

2009-05-02T01:50:00.006+08:00

Walalala~

no more irritating posts. Gonna be 2 already i can't sleep lol. Surprisingly eh. Hmmm whatever. K let's just say today sucked! Keep crying like no mum for nomumly stupid reasons like, cause there was so many sub sections of managing resources of overcoming challenges of globalisation or maybe, smth a little more sensible like, it was bloody hot and i was feeling so stress so my hands trembled and i keep coldsweating and as a result of shaky hands my handwriting was crap so i pekchek so i cried. Better? Nawl, not really. But aiya. It was a saaaaaad labour day, ;[ but ho well i'll self-motivate tmr. Super self-motivation, i don't believe my look-positive skills are all gone. Poop. Go renice, ppl keep motivate you so much already it's time you did something for yourself. And well wouldn't i be letting myself down if i didn't get all those treats? Aw sinful but, ;) starbucks yes come to mama~ my ice white choco mocha yooooo, zomg aren't ya drooling already! Mooohahaha.

Oh i didn't hit my target today leh. ._. i only ended up finishing 2 chaps of ss, when i'm supposed to finish ALL ss + half hist, LOL? -.- nvm, tmr chiongz. Venice plus 3/4 hist, or maybe i should just start emath first, sounds more fun (am i saying that???). Boo ss, go suck balls ss. Ss i hate you~~ gonna own your ass man ss. Exterminate the entire ss claaaaaaan, roar shit you ss. >:[ well ss supposed to instil in us a sense of belonging to the society, so as to maintain peace and harmony blah blah blah, is it? If so, it's backfiring yawl, i am very dissatisfied with the govt right now for allowing such a subj to terrorise us (okay me). Therefore, ss should be abolished so as not further drive the wedge between renice and the govt, to maintain the stability of our society, to prevent chaos cause by renice's wrath, for peace prosperity and ..? Lol i forgot the national pledge!! Kami waga negara singapura, sebagai rakyat yang bersatu padu, tidak kira apa bangsa behasa atau ugama, berikra untuk membina, suatu masyarakyat yang democratik .... forgot. Aye i think my spelling not bad eh. ;D

Ahaha crap, :] k bye i need to find more means of relaxation. Yoga, k let's all go do yoga. ;) oh, i am lvl 27 already!! :D 2 levels in less than 2 hours yawl. I think. Heehee, happy happy me.

So sad so sad~ LOL hahaha mlb still rocks my socks, weehee. Idk why i felt kinda 安慰-ed when i heard sam's voice just now, SERIOUSLY! I forgot which song it was. But haha that sense of familiarity is, assuring. Yay.

2009-05-01T00:26:00.002+08:00

No I won't live in this moment forever and ever. Imma grow mouldy.

Haha yes i'm back again. Happy labour day! I changed my playlist and lol i don't dare play it cause i scared i emo HAHA o.o conditions allow, seriously. It's late already.

Wahaha it's May my birthday's coming~! 28 more days, YO! But sadly, there's still mid years in the middle, extraaaaaa.

Kk byebye, i will study when i wake up tmr. No play tmr. NONONO. 劳动节一定要劳动！

BYEBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MAYBE I SHOULD POSE AN INTERNET SANCTION, YES? :D right... ROFLMAO!!

2009-04-30T23:40:00.004+08:00

Hi,

lol super sian. When i play, i feel damn guilty for not studying. Then i stop playing, but no mood to study, z! Gl lah.

K let's see what i have to blog. I planned out my study timetable already, so this weekend i gotta finish ss hist emath and start on chem. Yes, means i gotta pia. Omg hist killer so many potential questions yo. Should i spot haha. Am very tempted to. If i spot wrongly, then i will just look up the ceiling and ask god why~~~ why on eeeeeeearth did i spot. If i spot correctly, then ... GOOD FOR ME, 天下太平!! Woohoo so, now the question is, should i or should i not spot??? Hmmmmm. Answer is, i shall spot. Or maybe no i shan't. We shall see, we shall seeeeee.

Oh i cabbed home today argh. BUT! It's because i brought home many maaaaaaany books today. Was planning out what books to bring home ytd haha! K lah actually many books just excuse, could have taken bus, -.- but aiya, i'm just trying to make myself feel better~ and i think i really spend almost all my allowance on cab. This week i never really spend, then cab twice + mlb left $10. Oh and i gotta start saving ahhhhhh. I hope my last minute timetable will work, or i die. Let's see, 2 maths, 2 science, 1 humans. I think i will end up winning humans only. But walao that one i scared also -.-

Tmr i shall pia ss and hist. By end of tmr i should finish SS and maybe half of hist. Yes go renice no more slacking, your butt will be paralysed if you continue playing. (sit until numb until paralysed, yo?)

Ho i crapped out a post, bye! :) i think i might be back with more, lol.

Oh yah did i mention i still love Mrs Lam, haha she's super cute today. :D and that reminds me, i should go observe water droplets.

2009-04-30T19:59:00.002+08:00

Wow i totally zonked out at 4 plus and then i just woke up at 7 plus, been so super long since i slept this long yooo. I must have been THAT tired. See, Thursdays are stupid.

Sian.

2009-04-30T15:29:00.004+08:00

Oh, you mean a tattoo? I've already got one, here. Can you see it?

Balls, lessons on Thursdays zap me up lah dong. Can feel the atmosphere in class very tense, esp bio LOL.

Yup k bye.

2009-04-29T13:23:00.004+08:00

Omg maths killing me lah shitballs. Save me. So many questions idk how to doooooooo, questions from surds and indices omgness. ;[

Wah i ought to be praised lor, FLU + FEVER + HEADACHE still study kk. Z lol. I rmb how i used to motivate myself last time, sec 2 i think. I will buy junk food, like chips, then i rmb very clearly when i study for maths, after finishing ONE question, i will eat ONE chip, but well i usually end up spamming chips even DURING a question lol. And then there was the one kinder bueno per paper thang. Haha damn lame but eh i was trying to reward myself whatzxzxz! I rmb i pia-ed GEOG for mid years and end years lor. Walao over the weekends i chiong like siao stay in the room make notes make notes morning till night k. I STILL HAVE THEM! Am very very amazed i had the determination to do that. But lol i think i know why. Cause Mrskoh everytime say me, everytime i also get damn low for geog usually fail. So i 拼命 study to PROVE HER WRONG! Lol got B3 in the end, worked? Guess so. :/ argh i want that kind of 冲劲 nooooooow! Roar.

But hell lah i don't know how to do maths z. I keep trying to figure out but cannoooot. And like my answer correct lor maybe is the answer key wrong -.- yeah right, you wish lah noob.

我生病了！

2009-04-29T08:53:00.004+08:00

哈哈大家好，

我今天没有上学，因为昨天晚上我头痛了一整夜，而且鼻子很塞，所以没有睡好。早上起来时我跟妈妈讲我不要去学校，她就帮我量体温，结果发现我有点发烧呢！哈哈因此我不用上学！

Lol crap. Bye.

我没有读书的冲劲

2009-04-28T19:48:00.003+08:00

Hellooooooooooooooooo

i suddenly feel so depressssssssed, cause of paper oneeeeeeeeeeees, oh man oh man. K maybe not depressed, just sianed. Ah i really feel like, taking a break, oh mama, :( but aye, crap lah i havent even started studying at all and i'm feeling tired already. Bloody laaaaaah, i have this really mentally tired feeling. Got a very strong 冲动, k not one, but many many of them. The CD to not study for midyears, after all it isn't counted. But the the thought of staying back for SSS really disgusts me so no i cannot don't study. Walaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao, damn it lah i don't wanna study already life sucks lah seriously. :( mamaaaaaaaaa. I need some motivation to stuuuuudy. Any form of it is welcome thanks, anything that can get me off my ass and start studying.

Walaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao, amanda just told me after midyears and prelims still got mock exam, THEN olevel, WALAO! We what, animals ah need train until like that! Oh my mamama, sian.

I wonder how it'd be like eh, hmmm. K no i not gonna think i will become bloody emo. Go renice, go KCKCKCKC. HAHAHAHA i am still thinking abt the PMY during prom thing LOOOOL. -.-

K i am still depressed ZZ. I need happy pills. I need motivation. I need a break. Gosh. :( i wanna cry. I'm sick flu headache i'm wallowing in self pity i feel so goddamn pathetic yo. Zz suckballs renice when are you gonna prove yourself huh, noob z.

BYE. ROCKET BUILDING IN PROGRESS.

2009-04-28T15:19:00.000+08:00

Quoted www.pleasefindthis.blogspot.com

And if you look a little closer, you'll see that if a person believes that life is terrible, they’ll constantly look for proof of this, to confirm their view of the world. They’ll find quotes and situations and events in their life and magnify them a hundred times.

If a person believes that life is wonderful, they’ll look for the corresponding signage and behave in a similar manner to the previous person with their view of the world.

Often, this is the same person on different days of the week.

2009-04-28T15:02:00.002+08:00

Helloooooooo

paper 1 today and i did something damn risky z. I went to do argumentative lah aaaah. Walao totally mindblock-ed during english. Wanted to write about what you wanna change that one, but then lol i didn't know how to go abt writing leh haha. To think i was still blogging about it ytd, omg! But aiya crap i am scared lor i would never ever have chosen that stupad Q5 if i had other choices, argh! ><>

Think chinese was find. Almost did 议论文 but lol i was lazy to think of points haha! So did 报章 in the end. Write until hand so pain -.- well ended up with 20 mins extra and i was there thinking how nice if i could transfer this 20 mins to hist/ss LOL! Crap.

And i really am falling sick already. Walao i keep sneezing throughout both papers eh, super irritating. Then my nose keep running super duper irritating. Haha and then py and i walked in the rain down hill, good job renice! :) and so i was all translucent and cold with bloody screwed bangs and deformed bra (LOL i am lazy to elaborate).

Kk bye i wanna go sleep already.

dam

2009-04-27T21:24:00.005+08:00

~~Me and my egg.~~
My egg and I.

Hello i think i should do a proper post. I got alot of things i wanna type but nawl i shall do a proper post first.

K so friday we went for MLB concert i think i posted abt this already. Lesson learnt, no tube to concert LOL. Met at 7 at eunos, and then to cityhall for shokudo, my egg pasta is yummy. Sy's salmon one was not bad too and xm's potato is tasty. Camwhored alot and i hate it that i look so candid in candids. -.- ahaha btw i was stuck in a dilemma once again. Because we went into hula & co on the way to shokudo, and i saw a very nice grey-pink tube dress and i was suuuuuper tempted to buy it with my week's allowance. But then it's $30 so like if i buy + eat dinner i will only have $10 for the whole week, including cab fares home (already cabbed home today CAUSE OF THE EHADACHE, not anyhow de k). So as i was already deciding to buy, i change my mind and had starbucks instead. Ice white chocolate mocha (?). Weehee. And then the concert proper was rocking. Oh my mama i got so high when they sang 你快乐所以我快乐. Some mroe encore at the end then we were jumping like crazy bitches. Our row only we jump so zz. -.- but aiya nvm. So then we went to the rooftop terrace. Like hey i finally found it, FINALLY, like after so long. I rmb trying to find it since 25th may aaaaaargh. Proves that no fate means really no fate haha! But lol it wasn't very pretty either ~~~ lala i am performing the art of self-consolation ~~~~ but heck yo. Then momma came to fetch me and hooooome we were.

Saturday, went to trim my hair! WALAO I MUST SAY THIS, SATURDAY WAS GREAT HAIR DAY, seriously! :D haha cause the hairdresser help me blow until straight straight. And then went home and got ready for dinner. It was like 5 plus already. And then set off for kaima's house, as usual they were damn slow lah -.- oh we were supposed to go celebrate rocio's bday. So left for Conrad and the buffet there sucked lah so little to eat, i think the dessert even more than the food yo! But lol the salmon was goooood, great. And the toilet was conducive for camwhoring too. ;) waited for everybody to finish and then we went for kbox. Me mel cybil russell rocio. My contacts were. On the verge of drying up and cracking already lah. K-ed till 1230? Haha it's still more fun k-ing with NC! At the very least i dont care even if i zao sia, HEH! :P luuuuuuuuurbs. Went back to kaima's hosue, slept till 10 plus and then lazed and then 12 went for tuition zz! But eh tuition was fine leh. Ms tay make chem sound so easy -.- but lol i agree, by the time olevels come we will be all so b. sick of chem already. Which is good actually.

Today, as i said, pretty much damn sian. The guilt set in again, superglued its ass on me, having trouble removing now z. Those thoughts popped up again i got scared again but LOL i slept woke up watch BWDGX and then i think i'm okay. But lol i still got things to say.

我是个不容易满足的人. But i am easily satisfied too. See so contradicting lah, it's no wonder i'm always stuck -.- k let's put it this way. For the moment, i will be satisfied, and then slowly, because i got what i want already, i will start to want more, and mooooore, and more. Well human nature lah but 未免 too predominant in me le ba? :/ but eh, i believe i was worse last time. Which actually doesn't mean anything lah. The world's damn what lor. If you improve, it will be, Oh 是应该的, what's the big deal. But if you deprove, well people'll see you in bad light, like tsk, no good. Which is! NOT FAAAAAAAAAAIR. Seriously suck yo! K no link lah random. So as i was saying, i am susceptible to greed. Haha chim ba, Mrs Law was our acting english teacher today, ;P

So i've finally got what i wanted yo. Finally. I rmb how much i cursed and swore and sompah-ed that no matter what i will make things better. K it's finally getting better already, i think. Maybe it's too early to judge and maybe it can't be concluded under this kind of conditions when its partly cause of . And i gotta do what i said i would. I AM doing it.

Lol this particular song just played and i suddenly am reminded of KC. Haha working well as a distraction, keeps me occupied fairly enough.

But actually, i wonder what kind of person i actually am. Lol, my inner self and outer self. I really doubt i'm as simple as people think i am. Idk, who knows i might be a scheming slut, with bloody loose morals, selfishly self-centred, blah blah. Maybe it lies deep in me. My own actions, make me see that maybe i'm not such an upright person as i think i am. Hmm, idk! I really wonder, to what extent will i go to to get what i really want, even if i really don't have the wish of harming anybody in the process, and i accidentally do, will i stop? Or continue, just so that i can get what i want. Lol. I said i was susceptible to greed, didn't i? Howell, i think i've been to very very large extents to get what i want in this already, but i know it's too far out there it's not even in my court already. I don't know if i've hurt anybody in the process but aye, i keep bumping into walls, those bruises on me are enough already lor. I think i like to find trouble. Okay not like, i tend to find trouble. 我明明知道 i will get into trouble by doing this, i will still do, because i dont wanna miss the chance if it improves the situation i'm in. And if it doesn't work, i will still keep trying. Try try try try dont know how many million times i still won't believe and try again. Until one fine day when i finally realise, when i finally am enlgihtened, then i will let it go. Stupid right. But howell that's me. Maybe i'm fated to always learn lessons the hard hard rock solid hard way. Very pain but lol, i don't really have a choice huh?

And lol been thinking, i cannot be a government official, this susceptibility to greed of mine will kill me, for sure. Haha i know i am a b. biased person, it's super difficult for me to 公司分明. I WANT to de lor, but most of the times its really 心有余力不足 k. I usually will try to be partial but then that urge to be biased is super overwhelming so i will just succumb to it. Hey it's easier to give in to temptaion than fight it what riggggght. Well but sometimes i can be really gl and purposely be biased. That one, haha purposely so i have no reasons to justify it, :)

Hahaha, okay bye. Super long post ah!

2009-04-27T20:44:00.001+08:00

Ahaha, 百万大歌星 is damn funny lol.

HAHA. Renice you suck LOL. Kk byeeeeee, :D

2009-04-27T17:51:00.003+08:00

Wth it's back again mofo. Gosh what is wrong with you bitch. And yet again another reason to ZGDL, shit you lah seriously.

life sucks much

2009-04-27T14:49:00.008+08:00

Baaaaaaalls,

been feeling so super uncomfortable today. Weather's super humid, been having headache since morning, contacts very dry today and i feel like puking. Gonna fall sick already i can feel it in my throat lol. Pretty sian for the whole day because of the ehadache. And i thought maybe i should end it all now and then nobody needs to bother already. It suddenly occured to me that it's out of r that things are happening and idk, maybe i'm wrong but balls i rather not have it this way if i'm right. Well that was a passing thought. But still, appreciated. Very much.

Shall study for paper 1 and chem at 6. Yes 6.

Bye.

2009-04-26T19:56:00.002+08:00

Everything lives on as long as you remember. But once you've forgotten, it rests in peace.

Argh it's bugging meeeeeeeeeeeeee. Idk whether it's because i feel guilty for over reacting in this matter and affecting other people or because i should've kept it to myself and solve it myself and then let it sink down in history. Oh mama i feel like crying. Maybe i should just get it over and done with and concentrate on my books huh. But it'll be too early. Z you're bloody screwed renice.

contemplate

2009-04-25T01:41:00.003+08:00

Oh my mama i am still awake.

So late already but it's still so super hot -.- the earth's dyingggggggg yo.

School today was fine. Chem test after school was brought forward to during chem lesson, lol. And then emath test second period, then double bio omg died. And then recess i forgot what i was doing lah then eng Mrs lai came in and she dragged the lesson till like 1? -.- crap.

We had kittens in class today lol. Very funny keep meowing during lessons. There were 4 i think.

Oh balls i hate the weather seriously, ZZ. Let it raaaaaaaaaaaaaain~

K bye.

2009-04-24T23:34:00.004+08:00

There'll always be another mountain and i'm always gonna wanna make it move. Stay strong.

Ho it was great, :) the SB era songs remind me of youtube (lol); the new album songs remind me of how touched i was when i received it; Lei reminds me of walking down hill with joelle, reminds me of how i went so crazy over these 3 guys, reminds me of that very night when i turned on the radio wishing i'd hear the song and i really did, and so i fell asleep happy. Really happy.

Lol i realised i get touched damn easily. Ahaha i still feel how i felt back then when i received that yellow yellow album. No i saw it lying on the CPU and i knew it was for me haha! -.-

Aw but then these songs from the new album remind me of how i felt that sense of impending doom after 1010. I'm feeling it too now yknow, but thankfully it isn't as strong, even though it feels even more real than then.

BUT MLB REALLY ROCKS. :) there's this sense of actuality in them leh idk how to describe but ho nvm yo. They're good. And now even sy switched sides and agree that wq's good. ;)

Haha okay i think i'm gonna stop here. $28 for an hour is bloody ex but lol, it didn't really matter much. :D

2009-04-23T20:26:00.002+08:00

感伤. I always tell ppl it's not fair that _ so open now but lols, to start of, the basis of comparison isn't even the same. But i still think it's bloody unfair.

But HOWELL heck i gonna mug like a crazy ass it's gonna be aaaaall worth it. Htm, imma go for it. For once it seems like i found my goal already. All the boutique tai tai crap, lol.

Oh KCKCKC, it won't be fair if i said it now huh. Because the force of attraction is still greater than the force of repulsion than the force of attraction. K i think only i will understand that sentence lah but YO, whatever, seriously whatever. Lol i'm not even supposed to fall into that hole, it's just distraction.

Am seriously worried. Lol seriously what will i do if it comes true. It's already 40 now lah, how.

2009-04-23T18:24:00.003+08:00

If nothing else, one day you can look someone straight in the eyes and say
"But I lived through it. And it made me who I am today."

Surprisingly, today was bearable, rare for a thursday yo. Lessons just pass and pass and pass. But it was bloody hot and idk why i keep breaking into cold sweat. Been thinking what will happen, if really trouble's brewing/already brewed. I don't really know. I don't even know if i am gonna make the morally right decision, or the decision i think is right. But ho, till then till then. Oh man i'm on my own this time but nawl it can't be that bad lah huh. I won't die. Ahaha i think i'm freaking myself out yo.

I studied for chem test ytd, whoo? So rare i study so early! :)

2009-04-22T17:14:00.005+08:00

Seriously, i haven't been so upset for a bloody long time. Long time since i just cried and cried and cried looking at the bloody chatbox. Yeah i can never be like her, i can never ever do taht. I don't even think i was like her before. How did it happen then? Magic? I know you will read this post but just keep quiet again doh. Not knowing that i tried to change doesn't mean i didn't try to. You'll never realise how much effort i put in to try yo. In actual fact, you were the one who screwed it up for me yo. With all the talk on SDGBOBFF, normal blah blah ending up as empty ones. Who messed it up? Hmm? Before you say i've been doing too much, think of how you've been doing so little, too little doh. You always get the final say. Every empty talk just ends with a SORRY and that's it i can't do anything anymore i'm tied. Cool, power of an apology, i think i witnessed it more than anybody else.

But just rmb what you said. CB, and the change. Wait and see k. Gonna make your eyeballs pop and then stuff them into your nostrils. Aw i will help you put them back after that. Peace peace. World peace once the change has been done. No more empty talk i will bloody hack you into pieces. Serious.

Py, it's time i start work yo. The work you took 7 months to finish. Love you. Determination. Bestie can just go and die lah. Zz.

Peace be with me. I seriously hope i'm really just over reacting huh. But no it feels. Real.

Today is a soppy day. Tmr will be better because i say so.

2009-04-22T16:37:00.002+08:00

I feel like ponning tmr. But there's chinese test, zz. Wanted to today but cause thought got lab but in then end he also never cooooome -.-

School blues home blues life blues all blues i'm bluuuuue.

2009-04-22T15:21:00.005+08:00

Ahahaha i'm scared. It feels so much worse than that time cause so much has changed. Gosh seriously it's even more pain than how i rmbed it to be lah. What does that mean yo. Bloody. But so what so what, can be solved can't it. That's what you get renice, for using _ to fill those afternoons. Good job. Slut.

I seriously hope i'm just pms-ing lah. Been feeling highlyirritable, very sensitive, very prone to tears, very very emotional today. Freak you.

2009-04-20T19:11:00.002+08:00

JBXJ, how can i not be tempted to go roam around yo. It's one of those days i envy everybody else except meeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Oh suckballs lah.

2009-04-20T18:32:00.002+08:00

it's one of those days i wish i could do anything without being pulled back by circumstances. bloody down.

2009-04-20T18:13:00.003+08:00

Hahaha it's another of those days when i feel like there's nothing more to life that's worth being happy about. It's another of those days i wish i had extraordinary support + strength. It's another of those days when i wish i wasn't so dumb stubborn. It's. another. of. those. stupad. meaningless. days. Gosh save me.

2009-04-19T21:40:00.002+08:00

Lol, relieved a burden from myself.

And i guess for once i'm right not to believe what ppl say yo! You douchebags out there. I think i finally know what made things go awry back then. Because it became the opposite of why it all started, didn't it. Haha a sense of knowing, profound, profound. But! Lol typical renice behaviour lah huh. Like finally (!) i get what happened. But sadly (!) i was 4 months late. Ahaha, but then again, better late than never. At least now i know whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy.

2009-04-19T16:20:00.002+08:00

Sian i got alot of questions zz. Msn is a stupid thang yo seriously.

Zzz~ am waiting for 5pm to chiong Lollyz.

2009-04-19T00:38:00.004+08:00

Lol i suddenly wish i didn't notice mc now cause i scared i will go deeper and really start LH then become damn affected in the end. Lol just look at how even h_ affected me yo! It's gonna be the same thing lah confirm. -.- but hahaha if that day really comes that i really get in that deep, won't i be competing with my own YQKJ J? LOLOL joke! Eh no actually i won't, not anymore hahaha.

LIFE SUCKS YOOOO. Zz~

Wise words of renice: It takes youth to dare. 我老了，现在不敢勇敢了 haha!

2009-04-18T23:01:00.004+08:00

Lol ROFLMAO, reminds me of that mr brown show that mr yow let us listen to, haha! Okay that was random, seriously.

K had oral today, went to mrs ganesan upon recommendation by py. She's really nice, but then it is this kind of teachers that'll make you think you did fine but in actual fact, it sucked. Lol think that was my case lah huh. Walao was stumped at conversation. -.- loser.

Waited for dumb long for 4L ppl to finish their oral and then went to tampines 1. Dumb crowded yo! Wasn't as good as expected and so off we went to tm, to watch 17 again. Oh hotness. ;)

And then i came home and slept and woke up and walao i never felt so bored before in my life lah. K that was exaggerated but hell yo, NOBODY FOR ME TO TALK TO LAH.

K there's tuition tmr and then it's gonna be school again, zzz! Bye. No inspiration today, sad.

pause, take a moment to listen.

2009-04-18T00:08:00.004+08:00

Really. But still, i'm not into the idea of becoming strangers. It just doesn't reflect very nicely yo.

when you look me in the eyes

2009-04-17T22:51:00.003+08:00

I catch a glimpse of heaven.

Expect long post ahead. Many things sparked me off thinking, especially the bus ride home, and the fact that i took the long way home and it gave me time to think more.

Well so today we really handed over. Felt even more SBD than i thought i would. Realised how much more attached i am to this bunch of ppl. But sadly, i didn't get to handover, i didn't get to say jiayou but aiya, what's there to jiayou about actually yo? Hmmm. Idk idk. 百感交集，also don't know how to describe.

Was busy this cca, rare. Didn't have time to really slack in the classroom, was moving chairs and then taking care of casualties and then was busy laughing during games and then was busy rubbing deep heat and spraying salonpas. That was when i felt useful. That was one of the few times i felt useful. Though, i was just the safety officer that once, but well idk how to put it lah. Like i'm just one safety officer out of the many many others and just so coincidently i got to be SO for this pt. Come to think of it, i've been slacking my butt off all my NCO life eh. Last year, collect my money, then hop around trying to find things to do. Then came SSS, and then collect money and i don't hop ard anymore, i just stay in the class doing nothing, nothing seriously. Up till this last cca, then lol, i wish i did more. But OH IT'S OVER. We're really officially secondary 4 students, professional muggers in the making.

And sometimes i wish i was like dumb so i won't realise/notice so many things. But really really, at least i found out on the last cca, then i won't have the chance to abuse my power. Honestly i know i will if circumstances still permit. So i really am very thankful that i didn't find out earlier. But hey i still feel wrong. Disappointment seems the closest description. I mean, this person, who used to be BBF, is doing this. I never imagined it that way. Even if i don't feel anything anymore, it will still be natural to think. K maybe i'm supposed to feel insulted, but nah i'm seriously not. I'm just saddened by the fact that it has reduced to this state. It just keeps me thinking, like why the hell..? Maybe it really transcends all things but idk. The implications, the implications. K none of my business, i'm looking forward. MC said that yo. :) plus, 人各有志, no? I'm leaving it at that. But eh lol i am surprised i didn't feel s. K lah not really, not as much as i thought i will be. In fact, much much lesser. Just. D. But nawl i'm keeping mum.

10102008. Something about it crossed my mind. The situation will definitely be different right now, if not for my cowardice then. Sad, isn't it? I think so too. So i always tell myself, i have no balls but so what yo. I've been asking myself what i would have done, if i could just heck care. Would i still do the same thing? Unfortunately my answer will be no. But well well it doesn't make a difference anymore, seriously. So used to it already. It ain't a negative statement, but, whatever i heard today, made me realise that my humanly worth may very well be zero IYE. Yes then no and it just goes lower and lower. Yes then stick to it. It will seriously turn out better. It will make me feel better. Really.

Had dinner with doo and py after cca. And i just got home at 10 plus. Well i felt 欣慰, that was what the conversation made me feel. I realised that this person is sensible in actual fact. From what he said lah. It really really made me feel we didn't make the wrong choice, seriously. But hey, jiayou. Since you're forced to enforce it, then go on do your best. JYJY. :) comforted, really.

But then, what he said made me wonder what kind of impression i leave in their eyes. I would give anything to be able to read the minds of people around me, but sadly we all know it's impossible.

Hmmm yeah, long post, self reflection maybe. Goodnight, happy HO day. Goodluck for oral tmr ppl. Loves.

Bang crash boom

2009-04-16T16:57:00.002+08:00

Hey, you piece of shit!

:D me happy today hahaha. It's those enough to last for the day, but not enough to make you wake up and go to school kind. Lol, makes sense? Nawl, i guess it only makes sense to me! Haha.

And i feel so stupid as i looked at the Amath paper today luck SERIOUSLY, i forgot how to integrate, i didn't know how to do so many. I think i only managed 1/2 questions, but i don't even know if the answers are correct. -.- so i did all i could, crapped out some answers and then went to sleep. Oh man i need to start studying, but once again, it is just NATO. Not bad renice, you have learnt not to believe that you will study after putting it off. Lol, joke.

I cannot stand how i cannot stand keeping my emotions/feelings within me, especially all the bushuangness, unhappiness ETC. My mentality is like, if i not happy with you i will tell/show you straight in the face, i will make sure you know i am bs with you. If i don't do that i will feel damn uneasy, like i'm letting it go too easily, which isn't like me to do if you piss me. And that also applies even if i know it won't change a thing no matter how many million trillion times i say. No matter what, i will still crash in head on. Once i'm not satisfied with anything that is important enough to not be brushed off, i will do whatever and everything i can to change it. Even if i know it won't work. Lol jumping into the ditch even though i know i will come out smelly and dirty with nothing in return. STUPAAAAD. Lol, am reminded of the period end of last year when clearly everything was like, pieces of glass shards merely held together by masking tape (aka irreparable, fragile) and yet i still keep trying to piece it all back together even though i know myself all that's happening. 垂死挣扎! Yup i'm stubborn in the wrong way, i rmb someone telling me that, but this way will be the right way in time to come. When something even more worthwhile comes along.

K byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
(Oh i don't know if i have ice mountain, ><)

2009-04-15T19:34:00.004+08:00

B. shiatballs i feel like going out for steamboat!

But once again i am broke this week yo, -.- oh did i mention i ALMOST wanted to stock up on _ since monday's the day. THE DAY! But then as i walked through the shelves of cold storage, i realised i didn't have much to spare. ZZ spoiler!

Haha kk i'm here cause i'm kinda bored even though there's the amath test on chap 18 & 19 which involves trigo which i really hate to the core. I am procrastinating :)

KBYE MY FOOD IS REAAADY WOOHOO. WO AI NIIIIIIIII!

unbeautiful no more.

2009-04-15T17:23:00.005+08:00

Hello yooooooo! :D

Heehee i was locked outta the house again today cause i forgot to bring my keys. That's the bad baaad point of not having a spare key anymore. So i fell asleep outside the house (imagine how unglam) until melissa came home. Told her to cab back so i need to pay her cab fare, ZZ! Twice already!

Well physics test was uh, okay i think? K lah though i rojaked the definition for emf and pd, once again like how i did for chem ytd. -.- and my MCQ! Walao leh, i never think properly, if not i sure can get 1/2 questions right de lor. But nvm nvm nvm, think my CA marks are secured-edly good already. I am starting to like physics heehee. Lol k partially cause of tuition.

Went for dental today but doctor still hasn't mentioned anything about removing the braces, AW! Not fair alv and hy put later than me but they get to take out soon. I think hy put later than me? I'm not sure lah. But lol i think i will feel very insecure without my braces lah so nvm. :)

Oh and i was very tempted to buy shoes from mondo again just now. Cause i walked at square 2 before dental then i had the super urge of shopping lah mg. Saw printed tees, but i only had like pathetic $10+ in my wallet so i couldn't buy, wth! :( am determined to save. Very. Very determined.

Laughed alot today idk why. Hah k maybe i know why! Really kinda C actually. Manz it's feeling like how i felt at the beginning when i just started _ H_. BUT NAWL SUCKAAAR! Hahahaha! I swear i will keep mum about this lah. Learnt my lesson already like hey yo, so long liao still say, CHILDISH! So YOU should be honoured you know. :D

2009-04-14T16:44:00.002+08:00

:) hello.

Hoho today is a better day. Minus the fact that i was b. bs but ahaha i am back to normal again.

Let's see. Chem test just now i totally mixed up carbon monoxide and oxides of nitrogen (?), everything abt them i rmb opposite. Walao how stupid is that! But nvm. I think i will miss mrs lam after lessons really end. Really admire her faith in people, in life in general? Yes. Oh man i suddenly feel i will miss this school so much, no matter the fact that sometimes i can't wait to leave.

And then Mr hamdan didn't teach today so i spent the period filing my papers, hell yo! But haha there's the sense of achievement when i see my box of papers/files so neat, :D

Supposed to go for english at eagles' nest but then ms koh didn't turn up and all of us loitered around the concourse and then we went for early recess.

K after recess lessons were dumb boring. Seriously bio is crap lah, hypnotising yo. She's almost finishing mol. genetics (is it?) and i don't really get anything. Then chinese, was reading my book so yeah nth much.

Had the 2nd NA session today. And actually one thing he said made me think leh. He said smth like "right now you feel like, oh sad i can't get what i want, but you know it's for the future." OKAY it's nothing sexual lah plox, it's like, i'm feeling what i feel/felt or i can't get what i want now because it will lead me to better things in the future. Well something like that lah. Haha, yup.

And lol i forgot to, or rather didn't really, notice _ today HAHA! Loser. But aye, angle not right lah, must strain my eyes alot LOL. Shall wait for P, then PMY, ;P

Kk i gonna sleep, THEN STUDY FOR PHYSICS TEST! :)

HAHAHA MY AIM, I WILL REACH IT. OR ACTUALLY SUCCESSFULLY PMY ALSO CAN LAH HUH. Same same. Hohohoooo. :>